Zachary StirewaltInner Emotional Experience
While the right to marry has granted us legal freedom, it hasn’t eradicated the deep-seated feelings of shame and guilt we often carry as gay men. Personally, I still find myself experiencing fear from being perceived as gay, whether by flirting with someone or even offering a simple compliment to another man. On the other hand, I sometimes pressurize the flirting process as a survival mechanism, caught in the fight-or-flight response and force connection to solve my problems.
It’s easy to fall into patterns where we either avoid our true desires entirely or over-engage in ways that may be harmful to our well-being. I, too, am still deeply in the process of healing. It’s not uncommon for me to seek a hookup as a way to satisfy my needs, only to realize that it’s a temporary fix that doesn’t bring lasting fulfillment.
Spiritual Fulfillment for Gay Men: Breaking the Validation Cycle
Through spirituality, I’ve discovered an alternative to this endless cycle of seeking external validation and temporary satisfaction. By cultivating a relationship with spirit—whatever name we decide to give it—we can find a deeper sense of fulfillment and contentment. Spirituality offers a pathway to a more abundant life, one that includes healthy and fulfilling relationships that nourish us in ways that are inclusive of, and go beyond momentary pleasures.
Living Authentically: Embrace Your Truth with Spiritual Integration
As gay men, we deserve to live fully and authentically, free from the limitations of shame. By connecting with spirit, we can learn a process of integration when experiencing fear and desire, allowing us to cultivate a life filled with exploration and discovery rather than repeating the same patterns.
If you’d like to learn more about how spiritual mental health education can assist your journey to embodiment, here’s our page dedicated to Gay Embodiment.